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Ilenya Marrin, DSS | Dreams of Ex Boyfriend

Dreams of Ex Boyfriend

28.7.2012 | 03:38

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Are Dreams of My Ex Caused by Conscious or Subconscious Mind?
One person writes, “I often have dreams of being with someone, yet my ex would always be on my mind in the dream.  Is this caused by my conscious or subconscious mind?  I’m confused because he usually is in my conscious mind but I thought when sleeping you dream about your subconscious thoughts you had during the day.”

Subconscious simply means below conscious awareness.  It sounds to me as if you are still working out your feelings about your ex.  If you are dreaming of a new relationship, the dream thoughts of your ex are still there telling you they are unresolved.  During the day, you may be consciously thinking of your ex, but if your feelings are still somewhat conflicted, those may be suppressed (pushed down) into your subconscious and they therefore pop up in your dreams.  In other words, one part of you would like someone new, but another part of you is still dealing with the loss of your ex.

To help release these feelings, you might want to spend some time journal writing about your thoughts and feelings about your ex.  Let yourself feel your feelings.  Dig deep in your emotions to really observe what is there, and get it down on paper to see it objectively.  It can be helpful to have a goal of learning as much as possible about yourself and your life from analyzing this previous relationship.  You can be a neutral compassionate observer of yourself, accept yourself and this relationship just as it was, forgive yourself for any judgments you have placed against yourself, and forgive anything he might have said or done that seemed to hurt you.  Learn from all of this.  Let it be an adventure in learning, so that you have more knowledge and tools to help yourself and help others in the future.

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